new zealand.

I made it, I'm here, almost ten thousand miles from home. or anyone I know really. it feels strange but like home, too. it's hot, and I spend my days hanging laundry on lines and reading in open fields and chasing sheep, who I thought would be a little more friendly than it turns out they are. I thought I made really good friends with a horse, but then today he went and punched me in the face. I know for sure I've made good friends with a cat, though. I've been here six days, and I'll be here six more and then I move southward to Te Anau.

I've already shot four or five rolls of film, and I brought twenty-four and I thought that would be plenty. I am going crazy though: every which way you turn is something beautiful to take in, something I want to remember.

The family I'm staying with is kind and busy. homeschooled children including two two-year-old twins with the blondest hair. We're on a farm in Tapawera, surrounded by mountains and thousands of sheep farms. They all have the sweetest accents and use of language which I'm picking up quickly..

Here's some things from recently:

All the sheep sit underneath of this tree a bit sunken into the ground with rocks under it and they remind me of mermaids in a lagoon a little bit.

and by the way, I changed my url to beehaves. I'm not sure if that's what it'll stay as though-- I wanted beehives but that was obviously not available and thought this was kind of fun(ny). i could be wrong. i need to think about it for a while.

I leave for the other side of the world in one week, and these past few days things have been falling quite to shreds. pieces on the ground i keep leaning over to pick up and put back together but then i drop one again and then some start falling from the sky and i just feel very overwhelmed. aaron has school so i've just been laying quietly in bed all day with no lights but the ones from outdoors amidst snow, medicating my ails and holding the computer charger to my face.
a few days or weeks ago, not sure which, aaron and I went to florida. here are some bits from that

holidays pt. II

so,

Aaron and i just finished giving christmas gifts a couple days late. this holiday we promised to only exchange books, to take some pressure off. I thought i was being sweet, I sewed him a book together to be a scrapbook with the help of my friend who was taking a bookmaking class. it has nice little envelopes and notes sewn in and i'll take pictures of it later. but he went above
he got me three books by women photographers, illuminance by rinko kawauchi whose style he thinks mirrors my own as it captures moments, its every day and not specific. the first page i opened to was one she had taken of a cicada which made me feel so warm. that was present. then there were past (dive dark, dream slow-- archival collection) and future (called bed&breakfast because i often dream of opening one with him, how nice could that be.)
then he made me a book of my photos and his words, a project we call SCRAAPBOOK.
and then he got me a bookmaking kit with yarns and needles and paper and cardboard and instructions because i have told him how much i've wanted to learn.
and last he broke the rules and got me the LOMO original camera which I've been lusting after since grade 10. I feel so lucky for such a supportive boy, sorry for bragging right now but really. really, I'm grateful.

then we drove our ways to Asheville, and got fancied up for a new years celebration filled with nice drinks, warm talks, list sharing, gift giving (Marcy got me the loveliest rose tea and jar for it, along with a wooden painted box filled with feathers and slides of landmarks in european cities, so dreamy), and group photos. I felt warm about that too like i did with the cicada. I'm happy with the way things are when I'm in certain places-- there are special places for me. Some places just hit me hard and make me weep little joyful tears and make me blush about ten times more. Asheville is one of those places.

 happy holidays, everybody.