holidays

I've packed my things up from Oberlin and left, which is wearing on me. lots of things are wearing on me. In less than a month I'm off on a new adventure on the other side of the world by myself which is making me nervous more than excited.

For christmas I got all my favorite things: tea and tea steeper, leather sandals for my trip, a book,  a barn jacket, and a cowl knit by my grandmother. I got everyone very  little things that were in my budget, mostly wooden chopstick sets and scarves I crocheted from yarn handed down to me. we made my favorite mean (carbonara) and I made my dad marmalade cookies from a German recipe learned from my oma.

I had some film done from the past couple weeks or months, mostly from Oberlin, which was nice:

that is all for now.

other side

!!! pleased to announce I just recently had my visa approved & bought my plane ticket to spend nine weeks WWOOFing in New Zealand. I'm going to be working on a sheep farm, caring for twin babies, harvesting fruit, waitressing at a vegetarian restaurant, and lounging on the most perfect beaches. It does not seem real to me. I didn't think i was actually going to do it, because there's a lot of things i dream of but don't actually do. But tickets were cheap and so I did it. and now i am doing it. it feels unreal and so amazing that I am doing something big like this for myself.
I actually feel proud, like I did when I arranged everything to live in Asheville, or come here to Oberlin. I'm just understanding that I can do anything that I actually want to do for myself if I work for it. I'm so grateful for my family's support in it all (my dad bought me the plane ticket to New Zealand which is the kindest thing ever, my mom helped take out loans with me for Oberlin).
I can't wait to be so far away in one of the most dreamiest lands on this earth. i just can't believe it. feeling really fortunate and grateful and also a bit scared of traveling alone. but i know it will be good for me.


These are some of the places I will be:

Tasman:

Coromandel

Mangawhai

gahhhh. so many places left I don't have time to go to, which hurts a lot. but i am happy to have the opporuntity for these places.

if any one else has done wwoofing or something similar, i'd love to talk about it!

giving thanks

I returned home for the holiday after a while away, I drove a boy and his bunny through snowy west virginia roads to our hometown. I baked a couple okay pies and my brother got guinea pigs. I made the only two vegan things at the meal: a berry pie and roasted brussel sprouts which i thought were the best part. on Wednesday I went to the movies with my best friend from high school and his family but only after making the best enchiladas I've ever had. I have put work at the back of my mind and crocheting christmas presents at the front. Today I drove down my favorite mountain roads to Floyd which I'll have pictures of later!

this is a quickly-written scrap out of my diary:
for thanksgiving i am thankful for every bit of this past year. asheville and oberlin and the chance for others: i have discovered what Real people are like (they are good and also bad but in varying ways), i have discovered what i am like. and what that means. and that i am not defective or that if i am it’s okay and i am worthy of friends and love and chances. i am thankful for my friends and love and chances. i am just happy. i am making things happen for myself. i was really sad for a very long time and now that i am doing things for meeee (obviously not anything i have done alone. i need so much support and i have it and that’s a blessing-- aaron and my family) that are helping me develop into a Real person aware of her place and what she can do for herself and others. when i say things they’re what i mean. when i do things they are what i want. that was always the case but i so rarely said or did anything (i felt like i couldn’t. i truly couldn’t.) i’m really really proud of that.

it has been a kind year and i have so much to be thankful for, truly

Updates

The holiday season is my favorite because of surroundings and festivities. For Halloween I was a black hole (or maybe some gosh alien)--something I threw together way too last minute. The fall colors have been enchanting me the past few weeks and the crisp air is my favorite thing to fall asleep to so I sleep with my window wide open and under about forty blankets. I've started collecting gifts for Christmas. I've gotten seven new pairs of socks (socks are my favorite thing) and also made a new penal. 

I've also applied for a visa to New Zealand for the coming new year where I hope to stay and WWOOF for about two or three months. Mostly just hoping to by-pass winter completely.

Things have been going so well. I feel at home everywhere and with everyone. it is a kind feeling.  

little bits from recent life

i just gotta say

that my ultimate favorite kinds of fairy tales are the ones of lost islands and the maps that accompany them.

this one, which includes greenland and iceland and norway, also includes several other masses (“Frisland” and “Estotiland”) that Nicolo Zeno (creator of the map) claimed his ancestors had found and said they were part of the new world. 1558, but he said the map originated in 1400.

This one is my true favorite, hy-Brasil, which has appeared in many maps over time. it was said in Irish lore to be clouded in mist except one day every seven years when it would be clear to see but still unable to be reached. in 1694 John Nisbet claimed he stumbled across it and reported that the island was populated by black rabbits and one lone magician that lived in a stone castle on a hill that had cast a spell to keep the island from being found. imagine that. nowwwwww, there is a bank in the ocean near where it is on the map. which is so real and so perfect.

St. Brendan's shown as being west of the canaries, a group of monks said they held mass there which lasted for fifteen days but it was reported that they had actually been gone a year. described as a paradise where the sun doesn't set and fruit and flora were rich. appeared all throughout maps during Columbus's time and sights of it were recorded up until the 1770's.


there is also atlantis -- which is incredible too and probably even real also -- and others too but these are my favorites. things were just so beautiful and mystical and dreamy at a point. my favorite fairy tales.

Today

I made the mistake of pretending I cut my hair and now people believe me and I feel obligated to do it. I just started playing around after spending two days watching fragments of Amelie at a time. I'm still only half way through the movie and I think the haircut will become actuality by the time the film is finished

Edit:

I finished the movie

erie

this morning aaron left after we enjoyed greasy breakfast sandwhiches of sorts,
i spent six hours in class as he drove seven hours home.
this weekend we spent laying side by side, with him taking up most of the bed but never admitting it.
we drove to a beach on lake erie and there was a hill to watch the ripples in the water from. the surface was BIG and looked like a satin sheet. the blues and greys were perfect, and we ate green tea mochi icecream we drove thirty minutes to trader joes for.

i have so much homework my head is spinning.